Saturday's with Stef

12:18 AM

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. 

-Mae West
Sex. For some it's tabboo. But if your like me, I have NO problem discussing it. Now that I am single and losing weight- sex is an insecurity of mine. I have only been naked in front of three men. Each of them were men who I was in a relationship with ( 2 officially and one unofficial) Getting naked is TERRIFYING for me. I have rolls. Cellulite. I have stretch marks....These things all make my heart race and I begin to panic. Dont worry, I am not planning to have sex anytime soon, but I have been talking to one guy. I mean, sex ALWAYS a possibility.

I see thinner women just undress as if it comes natural. I ENVY this trait. I envy people who are comfortable with their body to just get naked. I love my body. Please don't get me wrong. I have BEAUTIFUL curves and I am shaped like an hour glass. I have creamy thighs, Huge hips, a beautiful bubble butt, and some big ta-ta's! But I'm not one to be SOOOOOOOO comfortbale that I run around naked! 

Then it makes me wonder, even though my ex was a little chubby himself, he never cared about my weight. And although he was hopped up on drugs he thought me, naked, was the most amazing thing on this earth! So I wonder how many men look at weight when it comes down to it. What if I scare them? What if I squish them?
I know I sound silly-But now that I am on the market--Being naked is damn near scary as jumping out an airplane to me!

1 comment:

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I think we (and of course the superficial a-holes out there) expect perfection. There are plenty of men out there who worship curves and their love for you will make them see you as the godess you are. My last boyfriend (before I got married) was the first man to actually be into my body and look. After him I vowed to never be with a man who would make me feel insecure, put me down, not be into me. Life's too short to deal with a man not into you.