SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Being Easy Made Me Better

6:49 PM

There were times when I went to bed not knowing if God was gonna wake me up. I slept next to the man I was suppose to marry, have kids with and build a home with who abused me.

What I thought was love, was pure lessons.

You will never know what abuse is like unless you have been abused. 

But it took me being abused, to find myself. I stayed single for 4 years. Dated men who I toyed with, played with and got played. I was used for sex, a good time, arm candy and so on. I spent my nights deciding which man will be the lucky one to buy me a drink. Because 2 years was the first time in my life, I felt amazing. I know who I am, I know what I stand for and I dont pretend to be some angel. 

Then I met Daniel. 

I didn't plan on keeping him around. From the horror stories of his past woman, I am pretty sure he intended on making me another notch on his belt as he did with them. One date at the gym led to many dates at the gym. We laughed and opened up. Felt the fuzzies. But then one day in the parking lot of the gym, I felt him shake as he put his hand on the small of my back. I snickered, "Why are you so nervous?" Turned around to hug him before I got into my car and he kissed me. 

I havent stopped kissing him since.

I truly believe God made me go through my abuse to make me a better woman for Daniel. 

I believe he had to go through those women to be a better man for me.

One told me how he was and I told her, "That sounds NOTHING like the Daniel I am with." Because it's not. I don't do as he says. Never sent him a nude. I waited to kiss him. I didn't reply back to him in a hurry in the beginning, lol. I  literally make him work for me and vice versa.

I wish I had knew that early in life but God had a plan. Lessons to learn to make me a better woman.


I am so grateful

10:24 PM

If you would've told me a year ago, that I would meet a man who does what he says he's going to do, I would've laughed. It's true, that anonymous comment that read about me not knowing love or having a real man, that's true. I didn't have a real man up until now. I went for the handsome bad boys, the ones that every girl wanted and I made them putty in my hands. My boyfriend knows -I'm not an angel. I play and I got played. I have dated really handsome men. Some that made my 20s amazing and others that Tommy lots of lessons. But this man, the one that I call my boyfriend, the one that I can kiss and hug anytime I want, my best friend, part of my soul, he totally change the game for me. He did and is doing what they didn't do. I am blessed. He was no angel. Like all men are at one point, Which I can't really use against him because again I was not an angel myself. But he changed the game for me, he made sacrifices and is making sacrifices for me. He's honest, even though it hurts. He makes me laugh until I'm in tears and most of all he take me as IM. He doesn't try to change me, he doesn't promised me things he knows he can't keep. But he does say things and he walks the  talk. He's upfront about things, but knows how to hold me. A lot of girls he has hurt. Hell, sometimes we argue and I want to rip his face off. But he fights for me. He fights for me. I can't tell you just how much that means to me. A man who fights for you, and a man who fights for your relationship. Is gold. I am blessed, I really am. He's my handsome ❤️