Maybe I am a Loser.

12:51 AM

Truth is, I am 25, still living at home and get an estimated income of 1,000 a year.Therefore with that said, I don't pay rent and in terms of my 18 year old brother who is going to the Army, I am what you call a loser. 
Yesterday, I got that "You're 25 years old and I know 22 year old RN's who have their own place" speech. I have been at a Community College from almost 8 years now. I had plans of going to a University, but lets be honest, I am not a great student. I can sit here and say my mom is wrong. But she's not. She's right. To sum it up, I am a loser. My 18 year old brother is accomplishing more than I am. All I am is a girl who just wants to write. I hear it EVERY day from my brother, what a failure I am. "I'm the one who's moving out before you", "I'm the one who is making more money than you than leeching off of mom"
 You name it, He has said it.

I dunno what to feel exactly other than a failure and alone. I have failed. Look at me, I know most of my friends have went to school, got some kind of certification and have wonderful jobs, While there's me. 25 going on 26, living at home with just a certificate of Journalism under my belt, doing a small advertising job, and bringing nothing to the table.
Have you ever felt like a failure?



Style Chic 360 said...


I don't know you but I hope I can offer a bit of encouragement. I think in life we all have those moments of defeat, We all have times when we feel like giving up or that we've failed. If your dream is to write, pursue use every ounce of strength you have to pursue YOUR dream. Granted your life may not be following the same path as your family or friends but that doesn't mean you can't set a new mold for yourself.

Everyone has a story and a struggle and this time may just be yours to overcome and persevere. Keep the faith. {huggs}

P.s. Thank you for commenting and following my blog. I'm now following you!

Anonymous said...

don't worry you are not the only one going through that situation. I am in same thing...It's just sad that instead of family members encouraging you to move up they put you down, I am talking about me personally...Now that I am getting married my mom is always on my case "that I need to go back to school, that I need to transfer, That I need this I need that bla bla!! I understand a parent wants the best for their children but sometimes you just need motivation and not discouraging comments! Don't worry you're not a failure some people take forever to finish school (im going on my 4th yr in community college not even finished w my A.A) I just think everyone is a little different..Everyone has their own pace..Don't Worry

Don't let comments or speeches let you down :-)

Moya2bean said...

You are so real. I love you for this. I feel like a loser everyday. But its normal. I fell like this all the time. I love your honesty and you blog, you got yourself a follower.

You are NOT a loser, your just finding your path on your own time....
beautiful post....

Traci Marie Wolf said...

It's difficult when you have a dream that doesn't come to fruition as soon as one would like it to but just hang in there and let times like these motivate you to have success in other areas while you work on your dream. You have an amazing personality and you live in LA there has to be an opportunity that you may not be seeing in your current situation. Maybe now's the time to take some kind of crazy chance.

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I forgot to mention that I've felt that many many times and I'm still working on not feeling that way. I work with a bunch of college students/graduates. Even though they are younger, I have to fight feelings of inadequacy everyday.

Whitney 'Nic' James said...

everyone’s path in life is different. i have been in college since 2004, have changed my major, watched best friends and friends graduate before me, i live at home, and i am about to turn 25 in aug. i used to feel like i was missing out or lagging behind but truth be told, i am right on track. i am where i am supposed to be in life, and so are you. you can't try to mirror someone else’s life bc you will always fail. be you and have faith. also, there are people who are our age and younger who may have a degree and live on their own but are just as unhappy as the next person. do you and know that things will work out.

"i don't feel like i have to catch up to anyone else; i set the pace & my own pulse...i don't see any limits to my dreams..."

(this is a combined quote from jill scott and alicia keys i read in an issue of essence magazine...i live by this and repeat it to myself when i am feeling down)