Saturday's with Stef

12:15 AM

Some days I have what you call  the "Old Stefanie Complex"
What exactly is this complex? Well I will show you...


 

Yes, this is me in 2007 when I first started my weight loss at 256 pounds, mind you, I am only 5'4...I say 5'5 on a good day though. What do I look like NOW? Well here ya go!

Excuse the messy background. So where is this entry going?

Well sometimes I believe I am still the 256 pound girl. Some days in my head I am insecure and truly believe I am still 256 pounds. Its a sad feeling really. It's a feeling that really shakes your soul. With this mentality, I am convinced I will NEVER find anyone else to love me. So I do what I do best, back myself into the corner.

Has anyone else felt that way?

 
 
 

6 comments:

iamwonderwoman said...

You should never feel like no one is going to love you, especially if its only because of the way you look! You look totally different girl, you lost alot of weight you dont even look the same! You look good and thats what you need to show. I was fat when I was in grammer school and pretty much didnt have friends and would get teased so I know how that feels, the fat kid in me makes me feel insecure too at times. Just say "fuck it" and be happy. Dont waste a day of your time thinking about what other people think, its your life and your body. you are beautiful and not just because of your looks but because of your personality! curves are a beautiful thing :) Let the confidence shine amor! xo

KayKay said...

i agree with the commenter above me. you have come a long way. losing weight takes time and dedication but the reward is amazing, not only will you think u look better but u will feel better which is more important. keep up your journey u can do it. :)

Jayla said...

i have heard of this. You have to train your mind to stop thinking like that! Jennifer hudson was talking about the very same thing on oprah. Stop it! You are beautiful no matter what size, weight, or height. Love will come when it's supposed to.

FROM THE "REZ" TO THE "CITY" said...

You are BEAUTIFUL, FUNNY, HONEST and SMART!! Any man that ignores all of those wonderful qualities and concentrates on weight is a HOT MESS anyway!! The right guy will come along who loves you for YOU and when he does you will know it! You need to get out more girl. Go to the museum. Go to church. Go walk around the mall. Go sit at Starbucks and drink a coffee one Saturday. This is how you will just by chance start a conversation with some random guy who will end up sweeping you off your feet!! Dang MA.....I should write a romance novel...right!! lol YOU LOOK AMAZING CHICA!! Its time for you to start realizing that! If you don't LOVE yourself it will be hard for others to love you. Besitos, Kiah

Chay Chay said...

Hey my love, OH how I missed thee!
I can TOTALLY relate to you on this post...SOMETIMES I go back to the 220 lb Chay, and I DO feel insecure and like the WHOLE WORLD is looking at me and saying, OMG...BUT I am SO comfy with my body and HONESTLY the NEW you has motivated me, you are such a strong person Stef, so positive, so happy and I LOVE IT! Don't EVER go back to the old you...live in the NOW love!

Tara said...

You are gorgeous! I've enjoyed catching up on your blog. I will be back often to check in. Love your style, hair, makeup, those killer shoes you're always finding at killer prices and well, your whole blog! You've got a new fan! Take care~!