The other day I read a quote by Eartha Kitt, "A lot of men wanted to lay me down. But none of them wanted to pick me up." Or something of that sort. I have a lot of men in my life. Friends of course, but I was talking to one of the vendors about a particular guy and I he said, "He's up to no good" or something of that sort.
I went back later that night and got a few missed calls from a man in my past. Ignoring them, I wondered, "what does he want?" Thought about it for a few moments and it popped into my head, "Sex!" Later that night another guy I dated texted. We ended on good terms and so I texted back. As conversation started to play out so did the dirty comments.
Now I talk dirty when I am involved with someone, I can't lie. But to a man whom I am no longer involved with...no.
He wanted sex.
My friends constantly joke to me, "You exude sex Stef!" Hell, I think if I was a man I would want to keep tapping my ass all night and every day.
Anyways, back to what I am rambling about. I began to to cry. I can't even remember what it's like to be with someone who wants me clothed, laying next to him. A man who wants to keep me around.
Why do they always realize that I'm a good woman a day late and a dollar short? Or why do some of them feel the need to come back for sex when I have made it clear that chapter is closed?
I know I keep saying I am giving up looking for love, but the truth is, I have this hope that somewhere in the world theres a man waiting for me too. Waiting to shoot the shit with me, play xbox, laugh, lay and eat with me. Who will look at me and say ,"God I love her." Who will be proud as fuck to be with me.