When I gave birth to Noah, I wanted to share my happiness. However, I wanted to also share my struggles. I have never been one to save face for social media. I write it like it is and if it bothers someone, it must mean the shoe fits.
These past five months with Noah have been amazing. Yet, I struggle. Not only with my postpartum depression but with life itself. So when I write, it's not for some pity party. It's to make sure no one else feels alone if they feel what I am feeling. It's to let you know that the woman sitting behind the computer screen in Los Angeles is human. I bleed, cry and scream just like the rest of the world.
Then I see what I call, "Social Media Moms". We all know one or a few of these. Personally, I never knew one up until recently. A mom who posts how much of a great mom she is, but in reality far from it when her child is suffering. These are the moms who make it seem like they attend every one of their child's events, when in reality, they send someone else to take their place or just don't go at all.
Pictures of her and kids like they are one big happy family, but you can see the sadness. Sometimes I actually get to hear the child speak of the lack of mother they have. It's sad. It makes me feel like, "How can a mom post shes a good mom, but in reality isn't?" I may not post the problems I have with my own family, but at least I sit here and tell you, it's not always rainbows and butterflies.
I sat here and told you how badly my low self-esteem affects Daniel and how I was so ashamed.
That took balls! At least to me it did.
It also took balls to tell you how much I didn't love myself at the moment.
You may see happy pictures of me and Noah. Yes, they are real happy pictures. But I can back it up. My son never "cries it out" and he never will. He never will be left out. Where I go, he goes. Unless it's mommy and daddy time. Which is rare for Daniel and I. He will never be pawned off to someone because I want freedom.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew I no longer had freedom.
WHY can't some moms grasps this and see how badly this affects their child?
Social Media moms...it really does bother me to see and hear this.