Saturday's with Stef

12:01 AM

The Story Behind Chloe:

All our pets are Special...but Chloe, she is EXTRA special to me. To know me is to know Chloe. To love me is to love Chloe. I got her right after I miscarried. She was hiding in a corner and I had ORIGINALLY went to see Yorkies. But there she came, around the corner, the only white and female dog...HOPPING! She hopped! How cute is that. She has made me happy when no one else can...

So losing her, I feel like I have lost a limb or two and have this HUGE hole in my heart.

But also this week, I saw who my ex really was. I have ALWAYS loved him. Stood by him and gave him unconditional love and support. But, his family informed me that he told them he didn't love me. Crushed I was done with him. 11 years and I was done. 

Times like this I would curl in bed with Chloe and just cry...but I have no need to cry over a man, especially one who is a coward and cant admit that after so many girls and all the negative things he has done to me, he loves me. 

The BAD things kept piling on. How much more is God gonna take away from me.

How much more pain am I gonna bare?

Taking Chloe away from me is just the icing on the cake.

I feel so sad and alone.

I feel like I have lost my best friend, my soul-mate and my partner-in-crime.

I'm talking about the dog, not the ex.

So Wednesday I hung out with an old friend. He and laughed and in the midst of the laughter he stopped and and asked who I am...Odd question. He and I have known each other for almost 8 years. I replied, "I dunno...isn't that sad. Everything I love I lose" and in his eyes I saw how he could relate. To see a man who stands 6 feet tall to me look at me and sympathize.

It made me really think about how we love things and lose them. I truly believe Chloe is my greatest loss thus far. I know after losing a kid your thinking "What!?!?" and I can see how it sounds bad, but Chloe was there and we spent  4 whole years side-by-side...We are a packaged deal. 

I miss her...

Do you have a pet you love as much as I love Chloe?


LaaLaa said...

Aw Baby Boo....

I just want her to come back so badly for you.


Marta said...

I don't have a pet because I'm afraid to get attached and then lose it. I hope you get her back, but if not, you can always get another one and love her as much, even though Chloe will always be the most special to you. Hopefully whoever finds her has a kind heart and will decide to do the right thing, return her to you. Stay strong.

B said...

STEF! I didn't even know that you lost Chloe. Between my phone being dead, only being on the business side of Facebook, and not checking blogs all week, I SOOO didn't know. I do hope you find her. If she's microchipped, I'm sure someone will scan her for you. Don't think God is letting you down. Remember, the devil works hard at breaking your spirit--that's an act by him, not God.

I've never had a pet because I don't have the time but I can only imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and let me know if there is anything I can do to help!

Unknown said...

This little story was by far one of the best things I've read. The story behind Chloe is very sweet and heartfelt. I'm sorry that she's gone. Maybe she'll appear, or maybe losing Chloe is a blessing in disguise. God works in mysterious ways sometimes. I'm glad you've realized that you're ex is not good for you and doesn't deserve your love. Stef, someone who hurts you, doesn't love you...he hurt you consistently. It's natural that you feel alone, you just lost your best friend, and a dude who you still had some feelings for. They say that when it rains, it pours. Seems like it's pouring for you right now, but the rain always stops, the sun will come out and you'll get excited when you see the rainbow. You'll be fine Stef. You're a smart, beautiful, and sweet young woman. You'll rediscover love at the right time with someone whose worth it. Life will be good again, just hang in there and make it the best you can right now.

Edward said...


I know we dont know each other, but my daughter Bella found Chloe earlier last week. We were wondering if we can keep her because Bella loves her and dont want to let her go. Please called the number below so we can talk about your dog.

(323) 726-2700

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I'm so sorry you still haven't found Chloe. I'm very sad for you and I'm praying you find her.