Saturday's with Stef: Single in the City

12:12 AM

I get asked out A LOT. Maybe 4-6 times a week. I get numbers sent to me, the "Lets get some drinks" line, some "Come over to my house" (Which by the way is an automatic NO!!) , etc. Getting a date isn't hard. I know my family has this impression that NO ONE asks me out, but they do. However they are men I just don't care for. Not attracted to and really don't see myself going out with them even if it is just innocent. I cant date someone who I am not attracted to. 

The guy I do have my eyes set on and I "think" likes me, said he needs to build up courage...

*Ummm what does that mean?*

I love the way him and I talk. It flows and obviously the physical attraction is there. I just was really confused why he would need courage.

*Looks around*

I seriously cannot date someone I feel NO attraction for. However, I miss dates...The swooning! The woo'ing. I have been dating myself for sometime now. Its amazing. I am getting to know me. It's amazing. However, my last boyfriend wasn't quiet the "woo" her type. He was a drug addict, who treated me good depending on his moods. Abuse was involved and I built up the strength and RAN LIKE A MOTHER! lol I now look back and see how much I love myself. How much I have to offer. How much I deserve. So getting hit on and liking a new guy is scary for me.

My gut says "Stefanie, he likes you!" My heart agrees, but that little voice in my head, says, "Maybe not Stef", Mind you my head has ALWAYS been the wrong choice to listen too!

Maybe I am shallow because I wont date men who I am not attracted to. Maybe I want it to flow like it does with THAT crush.

All I know, as much as I am dating myself, I miss a mans touch. The feel of his hand sliding across my face to hold me as he kisses me. The feel of his hand placed on the small of my back as he opens the door for me. The feel of him holding my hand tightly. Or his lips pressed up against my lips. Or him texting me, "Be ready, we are going somewhere"......Yes I sure do miss it.

Still not sure why he needs courage....

Am I THAT intimidating?

Ugly (which I don't think is thee case by the way!) 

Dating is scary! lol!

Sometimes when I go on dates with myself, its a tad bit scary too!!


Moya2bean said...

Aww Stef
Great post.
Look. You can't be in a relationship with someone your not attracted too. It does not make you shallow at all so don't think that. There has to be some type of attraction or swagger involved. We are human beings, and eventually thing gotta get!
And they guy you like..
sounds like he likes you, it starts with great convo..doesn't it!
You got this girl...
Maybe he does need some courage...guys get intimidated alot got this beautiful..Loved ur post

Marta said...

If you don't find a man attractive and he is not even your type, why bother? You have to like him and that's that! There is this guy that came up to me, gave me his #, but I didn't find him attractive and I don't think I will call him, then I saw him again and he followed me, I don't know what to do, I feel bad telling him no, so I just don't walk anymore to where I usually do, which sucks. He seems nice and seems to like me, but I don't find him attractive, he's not my type, so Stef, I understand what you mean, why settle for less? I like another man anyways. The guy that said he needs courage, give him some time, when he's ready, he'll approach you the right way.

Savannah said...

Aww Stef, this is my problem. Guys I have ZERO interest in like me and the ones I do like, well I'm pretty sure they don't like me back. I've been told by multiple guys that I am intimidating (sorry I dress well and I am well spoken?!). I think these boys need to man up; strong, independent girl power is here to stay!
Best of luck!


LaaLaa said...

Dating yourself is important and fun. Don't force yourself to like someone who you don't just for the sake of a lil bit of wooing and swooning.

I know the feeling, I've been single for a long while now but I don't mind it, I have men that fancy me but I don't like them the flirting is fun but wait babyboo and you'll know the right one xoxo

Theresa said...

oh mama i know ive missing out on the comment love, once again a great post, and see im not the only one who thinks he is into uu! all the same advice these gals have given u i have said too find those schweddy balls and let them drop proudly! and your family is going to give u a hard time,, Right lol but they mean well and ur momma is always trying to lift ur spirits like a mother should Im soo jelly! Love u

Unknown said...

Girl he will fall for you in no time if he realy likes you. However dont wait for him by any means. I do not think you are shallow at all I once dated someone who was super sweet and did everything for me that I wasnt attracted to and I was miserable that I felt pity for him and always imagined myself w/someone else. So physical attraction is important and the first element. Im sure lots of guys do ask you so why not go on dates (nothing sexual of course) just to pick their brain. Hey I did when I was single so use it to your advantage and keeps you busy and you look "wanted" to the other dude! Believe me it works lol.

Unknown said...

Yes, dating is scary. That just means you have to be very careful who you let into your lives. But, I have true faith in the fact that he will come into your life when the time is right. Don't forget that. xoxo

Gosia (beautyfascination) said...

good luck anyway x

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I'm proud of you that you don't just go with any man that asks. Keep your standards high, there's nothing wrong with that.

###### said...

what a cute post that you do...and love the info..super cute blog lady!

Style Chic 360 said...

I know how you feel...I have been single for a year and half and it's definitely hard.

Maybe he's shy, hopefully he'll come around if it's meant to be, if not hopefully the one who is will have all the courage in the world! :)

Suburbia Steph said...

Dating IS scary! Do you only date guys you are physically attracted to, or do you mean attracted to in another way? Sometimes the physical attraction can come AFTER you've gotten to know someone a little better and are attracted to the person they are as a whole.