Saturday's with Stef: "I'm just not attracted to you......"

12:09 AM

Losing weight has been a blessing and a curse.

After regaining SOME of my self-esteem back, there's an abundance of men who hit on me on a daily basis. Talking sweet nothings, making plans such as "We should get a beer." For some girls, it's HEAVEN. For me, not so much.

I have to be PHYSICALLY attracted to a guy if I go out with them. If I am not, and end up going out with them, I am leading them on. How? They are so into me and I am not into them. They have already set the base on THEIR part, they wanna DATE me. I, on my part, usually don't wanna date these men and would rather be nice to them and not hurt their feelings. Then we have some who discard EVERYTHING I say. They don't work, they smoke weed, they have no car...and to be honest, I am NOT gonna put up with that type of crap again. NOPE. NUH-UH. NO WAY! They come on to me so string too, "I can be that man...", -Blank stare- What about what I want? Don't I get an input? Of course not, because these men seem to think I will date anything that walks, talks, has a penis and a pulse. NO WAY! I have standards to ya know.

Call me shallow, but when I first see a guy, I don't say,m "My Gosh, you have a beautiful heart." I CANNOT SEE THEIR HEART!! I obviously only see their PHYSICAL traits. I don't care what you call me when I first meet someone, shallow, stuck up. etc. I need to be attracted to someone physically at first. And after that hurdle, if you are good to me, GREAT. If not, BYE-BYE!

But when it comes down to FIRST going on a date with someone, I think looks play a big part. Call me shallow, but I do not have to date EVERY guy. If my gut says, "Nope" I am REFUSING to go against it. It's always been right. It hasn't failed me. So why would I not listen to it now?


Marta said...

Yeah, why waste your time if you don't feel attraction. Me too, I'm very visual, I had to find the guy attractive somehow. I like your photo!

CynthiaAvaDevta said...

I so agree, Sis. That is why I barely date. I live on Staten Island and there are not many men available that are my type, I suppose. Being a single, working, mama...I guess I haven't really made dating that much of a priority. I'm just not that into dating a guy I'm not 100 percent attracted to, either.

Savannah said...

Agreed! Why waste my time?


Unknown said...

Attraction may bring you together but getting along and having things in common keeps you together. ;)

Diana said...

girl, you look amazing!! Great job on losing the weight.

Miss LadyM said...

You're not shallow at all because as much as people want to deny it, everybody judges somebody solely based on looks first. You don't know what the person is like at all on the inside and the outside is the first thing you see. I completely agree that you have to at least be somewhat attracted to a person before going out with them. No sense in wasting your time and theirs. I'm a bigger girl myself and I get approached by men who think that because I'm big that I'm easy and I will jump at the chance to talk to them. Um, hello? I do not think so. My standards are set and I have to believe that there is somebody out there who will meet and surpass them one day. Keep up the amazing work with being yourself Stef. xx

WitchHazel said...

First of all, you look stunning in that pic!

I agree with you on needing to have physical attraction but sometimes when you (accidentally?) get to know someone first with no romantic intentions their inner beauty starts to shine through and become outer beauty.

My boyfriend a very handsome man (in my opinion) but was not my "type" when we first met over 11 years ago (clothing, hair style, etc). I got to know him and all of a sudden types didn't really matter much anymore.. and here we are all these years later ;)

Just some food for thought ;)