Saturday's with Stef: Waiting to Exhale

12:14 AM

I think no matter what age you still have growing up to do. As things started to change personally and around me, I realized as much as I would LOVE to have a husband and kids, I am so happy I am not settling. I am happy I am not popping out kids left and right and giving them away like leftover tamales just to make room for more, as I know one person is. As I sit back and watch this train wreck unfold (because I am related) I am thankful that I waiting.

I know most girls my age are married with kids and I often get the "When are you gonna have kids?" question. As one of my best friends Brittany over at Clumps said, "Leave my uterus alone!" Truth is, as much as I want it, I also want a husband to hold it down for his family. A man who knows how to be a man and love me unconditionally. A man who will take care of his family with no "If's-and's-or but's." A man who is gonna BBQ on a summers day and laugh as me and the kids play in the water. A man who is gonna feel so lucky to be loved by me. I want THAT FIRST.

I don't know where God is gonna take me or who he will place in my life. I'm excited and scared but I have faith that MY version of Prince Charming will come. I do. Sure parts of me are scared that I will be alone, but truth is, I rather be alone than with someone all wrong for me. I am not settling for any guy who shows me an ounce of affection. Guys show me affection on a daily basis, doesn't mean I have to swoop it up.

I love myself WAY TOO much to be settling.

I know my fairytale will come true.

I just have to kiss a ton of frogs before he comes and saves me.

I have faith.


Mallory In New York said...

Good for you! I remember when I was younger, and all of my friends had a boyfriend at age 12, everyone kept asking me why I don't have one! Well, it was simple: I didn't want to settle. I waited until I met someone amazing at age 17, and we've been happy together for the past three years. Its so great that you don't feel pressured to give in and settle on someone less than perfect! There would be a lot less heartbroken girls in the world if everyone had that attitude! :)

Anonymous said...

This is such a beautiful post. Truly appreciate you giving a piece of yourself to your followers. Feeling a little more close and connected with you. Usually when I see the term, "Waiting to Exhale" me being a black female, I was getting ready to join you in tourching some man's closet and car LOL!!!

Much love and much more support,

Keeping the faith along with you.

Diana said...

Ha ha "Leave my uterus alone!" that's what I'll say next time my family or friends bug me about having kids.

Marta said...

Is best not to rush into anything, sure, a lot of women have kids but then because of doing things fast or to impress others, the kids don't grow up happy and with a secure home. If you are going to have kids at least you have to be able to offer them a happy environment and not have them just because you have to or time is ticking. When the time is right you'll get what you want.

Unknown said...

You are doing the right thing sweetie! I get that all the time when are you guys having kids? Im like let me enjoy my life traveling, shopping for what I want and doing what I want and enjoy my fun long relationship with us alone. We are healthy young women when the time is right we will either be blessed with a child or not. But happy, its just ppl get married and kids so young they dont think of thiose things.

Janette said...

some grls r in such a rush to settle, get married & start a fam w/the first guy that comes around. When I meet a grl ur age that still single w/no kids, a job & is independent & intelligent.... now that's someone that Im proud of!!! U'll meet ur prince charming soon enough. Until then, don't be in a rush & kiss a whole bunch of frogs either. U'll end up getting worts! LOL ;)

Unknown said...

hey Stef, just wanted to let you know i passed on the Kreativ Blogger award to you. xo

Nikol said...

I love that, "Leave my uterus alone!"

Really, it all comes in different times for everyone.

Have you tried online dating? That is where I met my husband and it really worked well for me. I met alot of really great guys. (Some d-bags for sure, but alot of normal, nice men.

Anonymous said...

very well said!!! i agree don't settle! wait till your prince charming comes, i did and couldn't be happier! i married my best friend and the best man i know! and now that i know I'm with the person I'm meant to be with now I'm popping out kids! lol but thats what works for us! not everyone has to fit into the hubby and kids mold. girl do your thing and don't worry about anyone else.

thanks for visiting my blog, i do hope you return! ;-

Dawniepants said...

Yay good for you! I completely agree I think it's a really healthy attitude to not be doing things just because everyone else thinks that you should!

I see it in friends, they get a boyfriend, everyone asks when they're going to get engaged, when they get engaged everyone asks when they're going to get married, when they get married people ask when they're going to have kids. The way I look at it is people are always going to be asking /expecting something so do whatever you want it's your life not theirs :)

Oh and I dont believe for a second you need anyone to come along and save you :)


Melissa said...

It's very important to be okay with "Waiting" and if you are then your KING will come...just hold on to your standards and you will get it. Good things comes to those that wait.