Saturday's with Stef: Scared of the Unknown

12:04 AM


I think sometimes you just have to throw your hands in the air and wave em around like you just don't care...Seriously.

I'm a tad bit scared for once in my life.
I may not show it, but me being in a peaceful state is a tad bit scary.

I am not sure what I am scared of. Okay, maybe I do...the UNKNOWN. I have been feeling a tad bit, "When will something really amazing, incredible, life-changing will happen for me?" I see so many people pregnant, married, etc...that of course I could feel left out. But then I think, I am so glad I am waiting. I know a girl or two going on child three from dad number THREE. Single parents struggling. Women in toxic relationships- And THAT'S THEIR LIFE and that is the life that was chosen...but it really makes me thankful that I am waiting even though I do feel left out.

I keep telling myself, everything I have gone through...Has lead me to this happiness and peace I have and I just have to breathe and trust in God that he has something TOTALLY WORTH WAITING FOR, Waiting for me. So, like all humans, it is scary. I sometimes wonder if I have already met my future husband, how many kids we'll have, scared of divorce (because I am a child of divorce), but then I get REALLY excited knowing that I am not settling. I am taking my time, PUTTING MYSELF FIRST, and chasing my own dreams!

That alone is scary. I think most saw me at a University with some degree...but truth is, finishing my book is MY DREAM. Being a WRITER/Blogger is my dream. I am on MY OWN path. I am HAPPY and at Peace...but scared of the unknown.

Do I make ANY sense.

-Inhales & Exhales-

I just hope God has something really GOOD waiting for me. I feel it and know it, but the waiting game is killing me!


4 comments:

GypsyFox said...

lol

CottonCandyINK said...

very nice post, i enjoyed reading ;-)

Anonymous said...

Maybe THIS time right now is also very interesting and fun to live ?
I'm a mother of 2 and sometimes I really miss being single and free to do whatever I want when I want. Think about it ;-)
Sabrina

Big Mark 243 said...

You make perfect sense to me Stef. You are getting ready for your moment and IT WILL RECOGNIZE YOU as much as you will recognize it.

There is never any excuse not to do the right thing. An answer arrived by finding out what's best is always going to be better than an answer found by 'what's easy'.

Do your thing, girl, do your thing..!