SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: I was bullied in High School....because of a beautiful boy

12:00 AM

High school, Such an evil place to learn such big lessons. Wish I knew back then what I know now.

See that beautiful boy? Meet Ismael. In HS he was not only one of the most gorgeous men on campus, but he was a popular boy. All the girls wanted to be with him. Hell, even I had a huge crush on him at one point before I met my ex.

We became REALLY good friends. We'd walk home together and during summer school, he'd buy me ice We were even in choir together. Another girl LOVED him. Lemme tell you, it was more along the line of obsession. She and I didn't get along. I felt she was catty and just generated a REALLY bad negative aura. Her sister was so unlike her, in fact the opposite. Many of us were confused how they were even related.

Anyways, she made HS HELL. I asked Ish to Sadies and he said yes! Hence our HORRIBLE white pants that we giggle at today. I had always had an inclining he batted for the same team (if you know what I mean ) but there was still speculation. It really didn't matter to me. He was one of my good friends and I know MANY girls wanted to ask him, and I am sure he could have told me "No" but instead we went together and had a good time.

The day the pictures arrived, I was psyched!

Until I saw one on the HS hallway floor. Written all over me was the words, "Fat Cow"  and photo copied and posted through out the school. I was mortified. I was hurt and I fell into a "I am fat" mentality. I WAS A SIZE 10 mind you! The girl who did it was probably the same size if not an 8ish. I became so obsessed with losing weight that I didn't diet properly. Yeah, I DIETED! Not lifestyle change, dieted! (Spits that word out of my mouth)

I ate nothing but carrots, grilled chicken and raw veggies and water. I didn't lose weight because I started to binge eat. Diet one day then scarf my face the next. Such a horrible eating pattern to have.

She talked nothing but untrue stories about me and made my life HELL. Pure hell. Why? NO CLUE

I graduated and eventually had to work with her. Never trusted but forgave.

After I quit I was relieved to not have to be around such a bad energy.

But it wasnt up until 3 years ago I saw her in a store and felt so bad for her. She was chubby and looked unhappy. RECENTLY I saw her picture and she is TWO of me.


Point is: I now see that it was pure self-hate and I was weak. The only way she can make herself feel better is to hurt me and others. 

Whether she realizes what she did, that's on HER. Not me. I took what she did and grew from it. I learned that words from people who have no say in my life, cant hurt. I learned that she needed to love herself. I learned that it wasn't about my weight, it was about a Boy she couldn't have.

Today he and I are still good friends and I thank him for defending me.

If you or someone you know is being bullied please call:

1-866-748-7047 or seek advice from a counselor at school, the police, or a parent.

Bullying is NOT right and sadly there are still bullies even after HS...Some people NEVER grow up and it still isn't okay.

Know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

But please seek help.



Savannah said...

Nice post, stef. It's good to know that you and Ish maintained your friendship.
Have a good weekend!

Jessica said...

awee babes so glad u grew and learned some ppl dont and its so sad to hear about 16 17 year olds taking their lifes.. You are gorgeous.
and this is such a good post hun i hate bullies!!!

Unknown said...

Honey so sorry you were bullied in HS and I know what you mean when saying that is the place were you learned the biggest lessons in our lives.
Look at you now love you're a gorgeous woman with a heart of gold and it seems like you're in such a good place now. Wishing nothing but the very best always love.
Much love.

<3 Marina