SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Maybe that's my problem

12:00 AM

I'm tired of owning one pair of jeans.

I'm tired of being broke.

I'm tired of not having another job that can pay for my wants. 

My wanting of new jeans.

My wanting of having a full-tank of gas.

My wanting of new shoes.

My wanting to want to be able to give more.

Its frustrating and I feel helpless.

And my love life is at a stand still..I don't even know abut that anymore. And honestly, I can care less. What will be, will be. However, I still want my own family. I want stability. I want a good man. Maybe it's time accept the fact that I may never have kids. I may never have a husband. I may never have stability.

Maybe I am meant to be one of those women on her own. Maybe I am one of those women who are meant to live with her mother her whole life.

And drive a shitty car.

Have a shitty job

And have a boring life struggling....

I'm confused. I'm okay with being single, that's my problem. I have been single for SO long, I think I forgot HOW TO allow someone back in.

Maybe that's my problem...


12 comments:

Fizzy! said...

Come on girl. That's not the REAL, STRONG you. Don't have despair take over you. Have faith and I'm sure all ur wishes will come true. <3

864 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
864 said...

This isn't the real you talking. I think you are focusing on the negative instead of looking at how your life has taken a step in the right direction. You moved into a new house which was a step in the right direction. Maybe the next step will be a new job. Maybe the next step will be you deciding o revamp your blog, which may bring in some/more money. Maybe the next step will be you meeting someone. You never know what is going to happen so please don't give up.

Anonymous said...

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Ale said...

Stef, I know your frustrated with life right now, and your probably having a rough couple of days right now, but keep your head up my love. There's a man out there perfect for you and one day you'll find him, and if you can't have kids, then maybe it was just meant to be that you live a happy and loving life as a couple, although if you ask me, you still have plenty of time to get married and have children. I had a friend that met a guy, dated for a few months, got pregnant, and got married within about a year and a half. Sometimes love takes you by surprise and when you find the right person you just know and your ready. Be patient. It took a lot of work and patience to lose weight, it took a lot of patience to find a house, so maybe it just takes a little more patience to find a good man. Keep your head up my love. <3

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Vingt Six said...

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Piper Alexander said...

Girl, you are still young. You still have time to find someone and start a family. I think it's good not to focus on it too much. I mean definitely be proactive, but don't put so much importance on it and don't be too serious, and don't go into things thinking there will be failure. Dating should be fun! Have you done online dating?

sprinkles18 said...

I'm on the same boat Steff, but I'm holding on to whatever glimmer of hope that still lingers in me. I believe there will be better days and I think you should too. From what I have gathered from your blog, and instagram you have the potential for a fulfilling life ahead.