SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: I will always be 264 pounds

 

Ever since I lost weight I get a lot of feedback. "Stef, your losing so much weight." "Stef, your small!" "Stef, don't lose anymore weight." And the biggest question, "How many more pounds are you gonna lose?"

So many think I starve myself. FALSE. I eat constantly. In fact, I will always struggle with my weight. ALWAYS. 

I am proud that in my journey I never lost sense of who I am really am. In fact, having that woman call my phone just proved I have grown so much as a woman and as a human being. Even though I cussed, grabbed myself, etc...If she would have done that to the OLD me, I would have cried. But words cannot hurt me anymore. I am bulletproof. 

I am so proud of my success that it just validated, that from now on, I will also have people who aren't rooting for me. Who will talk behind my back, prank call, and do childish things just to TRY and put me down.

Every decision I have made up until this point was THE BEST DECISION FOR ME. No one else. From losing weight and losing friends....MY CHOICE. I have no time for negativity anymore. No time to worry about people who don't bring anything to my table. So I stopped saving seats. People want to be in my life, they are sitting at the table holding their own spot. No need for my help. I thank them! 

As far as my weight loss...yes, like I said, I will always be at war with my weight. In my head, heart and soul. Next time someone wants to talk badly about my weight, I want them to lose 107 pounds then come back to me. I want them to feed me, fuck me, or finance me before they open their mouth and decide to bad mouth me. That ladies and gentlemen is why I am bulletproof to words.

I am a PHENOMENAL woman!

And sometimes basic women just cant handle that.

I WILL ALWAYS BE 264 POUNDS...

Even at 156 pounds....

I LOVE FOOD!

FOOD LOVES ME!

But more importantly... 

I LOVE MYSELF!