SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: I move forward

12:00 AM

There are so many emotions going through me right now. So many dreams I want to accomplish and knock out of the ball park. So many plans I want execute.

I have grown. I look back at this past year, not knowing where I was gonna live, will my family get through it, will I move forward...and I have and we did.

Funny how life works. When you're down to NOTHING, God is up to SOMETHING.

I wish I could spill my guts out to you. But for the privacy of the other party, I cant. I know they'd want whats going on under raps because of how fragile it is. I will say this though, lately I have been crying myself to sleep.

Been asking God why a lot. Been wondering what I have done. 

I cant control the situation. I can just control what I do and how I react.

The best thing for me to do is just be DONE and keep walking forward.

I have grown so much as a human being, as a woman, that going backwards isn't an option. Settling isn't an option and anyone who thinks so, must be crazy!

I may have to cry through the night in order to fight through this turmoil...but I'm not going back. The old Stef, would have caved in and go backwards. The old Stef would have thought, "I deserve this!" But nope...I know I don't deserve this. Gods test is Gods lesson to me.

I move forward.

Head held high and although there may be tears in my eyes...


1 comment:

Dennise Jimenez said...

My friend, you're amazing. keep pushing through. i don't know what you're dealing with, but even issue can be resolved except death. i'm here for you. always.