If I told you I don't still feel bad, I would be lying. It still stings. I still am up wondering how I even met a man as cochino like him.
But I won't make every man pay for his mistake.
I still believe that there are good men out there. That somewhere in this world, God has one made just for me. A man who compliments me and will treat me good. A man who will show me that not all men are alike.
I truly believe this in my heart.
A lot of females start turning into the men who broke their heart. That has never been me and never will be me. There is no sense in punishing someone else for someone Else's mistake. I still pray for the cochino at night and ask God to wake his saddened heart up to see the love that God gives him. I hope some day he feels God's love and begins to love.
Will I continue to date? Of course. Now will I literally go out of my way to date? No. I am not searching to date. However, if I get asked to go on a date, I will go. I will remain open with my heart, mind, arms and soul. It's who I am. You can't change that aspect of who I am. I was raised to be open. After all, I was the little girl who pranced around in a tu-tu and talked to a pink star earring while saying, "Synergy! Synergy!"
Love will come to me. Why? Because I have asked God for a man so good that only HE can have made for me. A man who has wished for me just as much as I wished for him. I know the day I find this man, God will say, "See, my love never fails you."
And his love hasn't.
The process is so reckoning and often times I am scared. Though, it's a process. I will learn to adjust my sails and I will stay true to myself.
I will not punish every man for Mr.Cochino's mistakes.
I am not bitter and I am not sad.
I am hopeful.