SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Nude Thoughts

 

Im not sure what Im feeling lately. Im working hard, doing what Im suppose to be doing and finally feeling like I have a life. 

I wish I had more girlfriends to hang out with.  More of a life, I guess. I dont know if I am making sense. 

I know I have been in this rant about dating and what not, granted I do want to start getting back inot dating, I cant afford Match.com monthly and lately I have been in this, "Keep to yourself, let love find you Stef" mode. 

So I guess aspects of my life feel like theres a hole. 

I know things fall into place on Gods time. I am done worrying about things I cannot control. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and a bed to sleep in at night. I have "perks" and I am so blessed to have a steady income. But I guess I sit back and think about how happy I am and start to think about how awesome it would be to share my happiness. 

Maybe its because I am getting older.

Mr.Cochino came up on Tinder and I freaked out. Memories flooded my mind and I missed the great parts of him. The parts that made me smile while texting him. The parts that made me so proud to have him. It made me miss that feeling of being able to go over and lay down and watch TV with someone.

Weird how it feels like a break-up.

I mean I guess it was....is. We called each other boyfriend and girlfriend in public. We made it known there was an US.

And that leads me to, Im scared. What if true colors show and each man turns out to be another Mr.Cochino. I guess thats a chance I take.

Okay I vented. Happy Saturday!