SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Being Easy Made Me Better

6:49 PM

There were times when I went to bed not knowing if God was gonna wake me up. I slept next to the man I was suppose to marry, have kids with and build a home with who abused me.

What I thought was love, was pure lessons.

You will never know what abuse is like unless you have been abused. 

But it took me being abused, to find myself. I stayed single for 4 years. Dated men who I toyed with, played with and got played. I was used for sex, a good time, arm candy and so on. I spent my nights deciding which man will be the lucky one to buy me a drink. Because 2 years was the first time in my life, I felt amazing. I know who I am, I know what I stand for and I dont pretend to be some angel. 

Then I met Daniel. 

I didn't plan on keeping him around. From the horror stories of his past woman, I am pretty sure he intended on making me another notch on his belt as he did with them. One date at the gym led to many dates at the gym. We laughed and opened up. Felt the fuzzies. But then one day in the parking lot of the gym, I felt him shake as he put his hand on the small of my back. I snickered, "Why are you so nervous?" Turned around to hug him before I got into my car and he kissed me. 

I havent stopped kissing him since.

I truly believe God made me go through my abuse to make me a better woman for Daniel. 

I believe he had to go through those women to be a better man for me.

One told me how he was and I told her, "That sounds NOTHING like the Daniel I am with." Because it's not. I don't do as he says. Never sent him a nude. I waited to kiss him. I didn't reply back to him in a hurry in the beginning, lol. I  literally make him work for me and vice versa.

I wish I had knew that early in life but God had a plan. Lessons to learn to make me a better woman.


1 comment:

Big Mark 243 said...

...the last line is what counts the most... good luck with your relationship and just know deep in your heart that you are a better woman... but that you were ALWAYS a good woman..!