Saturday's with Stef

12:05 AM

My heart is feeling like it took a good pounding. I recently did a VLOG on what I want and what I deserve. I know often we accept the love we THINK we deserve. People tend to look at me and think I have guys lined up to date me -Blank stare- If that's the case, someone surely lead me in the wrong direction! So yeah, that's not true. I was just getting used to being happy and honestly I sit here, telling you I have never felt so confused in my life.

Someone came back into my life.

What I want and deserve are, like I explained, at the opposite end of the spectrum. 

What I want is this person to treat me good, make me feel loved at all times, be honest, be open and be able to be trusted. But the truth and the REALITY of it is, there is SO much damage that it's impossible to even have a clean slate. So I have a plate full of sadness, scars, and a few GREAT memories. However, What I want is not guaranteed.

What I deserve however. Is someone to treat me good, be gentle, kind, caring, understand and compassionate. Someone who will LOVE ME TO DEATH and will die before they let me meet harm. I deserve a GREAT person who will tell me the truth, be honest and I will be able to trust without a doubt in my mind, body and soul. I deserve a GREAT person in my life.

I think right now I am so torn between my head and my heart. My heart wants what it wants but my head knows better than to go down that road again. A road filled with sadness and unhappiness. 

Here are a few Questions I need your P.O.V on:

So what do you usually go with, Your head or your heart?

Do you usually go with what you want or what you deserve?

And lastly, is your gut feeling/instinct always the RIGHT feeling?


Ayshe said...

hey, i’m new to your blog, but hopefully you won’t mind me giving my opinion. From experience I think you should always go with your gut feeling, it might not be what you want, because your head/heart tells you the opposite, but it probably is what you deserve. Hope that makes sense, didn’t want to make this comment too long!

Marta said...

I'm not an expert but sometimes I go with what my heart tells me, but before I follow my heart or make any decision, I think if what I am going to do is worth it and I really want it. If that person who came back to your life still makes your heart feel excited and happy, why not give him a chance?, but you have to be certain that you want to take the risk. Nothing is guaranteed in life and no relationship in the world is or will be perfect.

Savannah said...

I go with my head, my heart can get some crazayyy ideas. Normally I go with what I want, but a lot of the time what I want is what I deserve. I've liked this guy for awhile, but he doesn't like me back, I know I deserve better, but the guys that do like me I don't like back. I want the first guy, but that 's not going to happen, so I'm waiting for someone to come around that I a.) deserve and b.) actually like. Not that any of this is some desperate matter, I am only 15 after all! (:
Girl, if your gut instinct is telling you that getting involved with this boy again is bad, LISTEN TO IT. I don't want you to end up hurt. The heart wants what the heart wants, but don't listen to your heart if you know that the heart's road is paved with trouble.

I hope I helped!


♥ CG ♥ said...

I could go on and on about this, Stef, but I'll keep it short. Recently I learned that my intuition is my best friend, more so than my heart and head. The heart fails me because it's often fickle and blinded by the emotion that comes along with feeling good/wanted. My head failed me because I chose to ignore some things that would ultimately come to light and leave me now choice but to throw deuces. I think it's important not to restrict yourself from following your heart to a degree, with a healthy dose of keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground. Things work out when they're supposed to so don't overthink it :-).

Big Mark 243 said...

Well Stef, the gut instinct has been scientifically proven to be more accurate a predictor than either your heart or your head. For real, so I hope that helps!!

Unknown said...

As a woman, we deserve NOTHING but the best. No exceptions. The minute we make exceptions, is the minute we are cutting ourselves short. I say you do what makes you happy. No one else can make that decision for you. Sorry...I'm not making this any easier. LOL. Good luck chica.

Nekiah Torres said...

I stand strongly on the fact that an EX is an EX for a reason. From my experience unless someone has become a born again Christian... people don't change. I guarantee you that he will do and say all the things you want him to so that you will take him back but the minute you do and he gets comfortable...the old him will return. I think that you really need to search yourself to see what it is that you are bringing to a relationship (because both parties are held accountable for their actions) and then what you are expecting your "someone" to bring to the relationship. I can also tell you that based on experience... usually the complete opposite individuals work together best. In my past relationships what I was expecting in my mate I was not giving in return. I was very judgmental and I am a work-a-holic, somewhat of a perfectionist and not very touchy/feel-y so if my mate was not as driven as me or too clingy there were problems. It was not until I got a bit older that I realized that I can't change/mold someone into what I want them to be so that I am happy but that I had to accept them for who they are. My husband and I are NOTHING alike and it works out because there is a balance....where I am weak he is strong and vice versa. It is best to ALWAYS go with your gut instinct girl.....ALWAYS!! The right man will come along when you least expect it! It will just happen and work out...we can't plan these things! Kiah

Unknown said...

Ayyy MAMA..unfortunately no one is an expert on love and we all have our ups and downs and sometimes we learn from our mistakes and sometimes we don't. It's hard to find the special connection with someone and when you find someone that makes your heart skip a beat (sigh) honey then is worth the risk. Your head and your heart will never agreed 100% and if you think that there may be still something there with this past ghost in your life then I say go for it ... EVERYONE deserves a second chance. Good luck to you doll!! and keep us posted.

WitchHazel said...

I'm going through something similar - having to make a decision with my head or heart - and right now the heart is winning. I don't know if it's right and it's a difficult situation to be in. You really have to sit and consider if you a) love the person, b) the memory of the person (which is usually remembered through rose colored glasses), or c) if you love the person to 'wish' they were/expect them to be. I've been with this person for 11 years so there's a lot of history there; I don't know what the situation is with you and this guy. All I can say is good luck, because matters of the heart are different for everyone and only you can make the decision to either move forward or take a step back.

WitchHazel said...

So many typos, so little time lol Sorry! I hope what I typed kind of made sense to you ;p

thisladybehaves said...

Hi love!!
first i listen to my gut feeling because based on experience.. it's always right and has lead me to great stuff. sometimes it might look like a mistake than it turns around in the end..
second i listen to my heart after i listen to mu heart, i use my head. hehehe
then lastly i oh wait what was the other thing you asked... hold on..

thisladybehaves said...

oh and i always always always go with what i want because I believe I am in no position to know what I deserve.

kisses hon!!

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I tend to do all the things that you do. Go with my heart. Go with what I want. But eventually time catches up to all of us and I end up waking up regretful knowing what I wanted was so wrong. If you are a bible reader you know what I mean when I say that is foolish. I've been such a fool for love because I kept finding men that I had to try to convince to love me. When the man you find is right for you, you won't have to convince him or coach him to love you. He just will.

Melissa said...

Sigh Love and relationships let's see

So what do you usually go with, Your head or your heart?

- Honestly I am going to go with my heart because while in my head it make sense it doesn't make me happy. So I tend to go with my heart desires and that's with everything in life. I think most people tend to follow their hearts and very little go for what there head say.

Do you usually go with what you want or what you deserve?
What I "deserve" I don't want so I guess I don't really deserve it if I can't value it and appreciate it. I tend to go for what I want even if it is a little bit under or a bit more than I can handle. It goes hand in hand with going for what your heart wants.

And lastly, is your gut feeling/instinct always the RIGHT feeling?

Ummm I am not sure, I am pretty crazy with my thoughts so ehhh I do know that when I go with my heart it feels right