As 2012 closes I am sitting here thinking, how much worse can things get?
Certain family issues has forced us to sell our home. Looking for a 4 bedroom that takes dogs has been emotionally, mentally, and physically draining.
A certain friend who will remain nameless was bragging about how they are at a university and how mom and dad pay for their transportation and may even get them a laptop. The way this person said it was so condescending, so unlike them. "Well my mom and dad pay for it so it doesn't come out of my pocket."
I cant afford to go to school right now. It will be a matter of weeks maybe two months that if we don't find a home we will be stuck out in the cold. There is no Christmas Tree in house, no laughter, no lights strung across our roof. Its silence, it's worry, it's scary almost. Okay maybe not scary but last year the tree was lit, Christmas was so joyful. We went from THAT to this. I wanna cry. I wanna get mad at God and asked what we did wrong. Will we be okay? Whats gonna happen?
I smile. Why? Because if I don't I will be asked, "Whats wrong?" and then I'll start to cry.
Cant I click my heels three times and magically be in a cozy home with a Christmas tree and presents under the tree?
Theres a huge lump in my throat. No one I know will understand what this feels like.
While mommy and daddy are paying for their way, I am trying to pay my dues to get better days for us.
It gets better right?
We'll find a home right?
There will be a Christmas tree lit in a living room again right?