SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Not in my cards...?

12:00 AM

I am 27 years old. Been thru hell and back. I have a confession. This mothers day was HARD on me for some odd reason. I guess my miscarriage in 07 never fully healed in my soul. I'm good at putting band-aids over wounds and dealing with them when I feel like it. 

I was sad. Cried and I had a big, "What if its not in my cards to be a mom?" Okay I am only 27, I know. I don't want a  kid NOW and I don't want to be a single parent at that. So maybe God is doing me a favor by not making me one. I probably would have ended up one, struggling and probably in a hole. I know, I know...God saved me.

I mean. Finding a job that pays hourly and getting a paycheck every two weeks is HARD. I have applied and applied EVERYWHERE. So maybe getting my life on track before my cards fall into place is key and God is just having my back...?

That's it.

I do wanna be a mom.

I am so not gonna lie to you and say "Nah!" because I do! I want too BADLY and even though I am no rush...I think "What if my eggs run out!" I even made a pact (jokingly) with my friend that if I don't have a baby by 32, hes my sperm donor. Granted he's gay, I think wed have beautiful babies! 2 dads, one mom! SCORE! lol I dunno...

I just had to be honest with you guys. 

Today is the Bubble Run! I cant wait to post pics and show you! 



Anonymous said...

Hola Stef,
What an awesome post of honesty. There truly is something magical and miraculous that happens when we share our light with others. It most certainly brighten someone's way...your post did that for me this morning and I thank you for that. I thank you for being courageous enough to be true to who you are. My morning just got brighter! :)

~SimplyyMayra :)

Big Mark 243 said...

Sometimes I think that we worry about the wrong things... focusing on yourself is what is best for you at this time... have faith in YOURSELF that you are going to attain all the things you desire... nothing is really out of reach for you...

Staffing Solutions said...

You must stay strong, work on yourself, and find a good job. Over time things will change, that's for sure.