SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: It's okay I don't have my shit together

12:00 AM

 
I realized there is only so much I can control.

Ive been on multiple interviews and each time I get an email saying they went with another candidate. 

I cried yesterday.

Sat in the shower and just cried.

I felt like a failure. 

But I'm not.

I'm TRYING.

It's not like I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing expecting a job to land right on my lap.

I'm TRYING.

There was a point in my life almost 4 years ago that I didn't think I'd make it out alive. In fact I wish he had killed me because if not, my sanity would have led me to take my own life because of his abuse.

I know if I can get through THAT phase in my life, I can get through this phase.

I KNOW IT.

So I don't have my shit together. Apparently NONE of us do and even when we think we do, we really don't. Maybe as humans we never really have our shit together. There will always be a loose thread, a rough patch, and so on.

I know this is a phase.

Storms don't last forever and I am learning to adjust my sails.

AHOY MATEY!




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