Saturday's with Stef: Dear 2011...

12:01 AM

Dear 2011,

They say, "Parting is such sweet sorrow..." But there is nothing sweet about you. This whole year, your theme was LOSS. Oh boy, did I lose!

In January, you taught me what it was like to be a survivor. You made me see that , it wasn't love but rather something I had to go through....lose myself. And I did. I lost myself. There were days I slept all day, days I cried all day, nights I thought I wouldn't live to see the next day, nights when all I wanted to do was get myself back. You never gave me the Stefanie I once was back.
Slowly but surely, I got back up on my two feet...Becoming a better, newer, more improved Stefanie. Then June came. Chloe went missing and at the time, my best friend gone, caused me to slip back into a state of depression. To many, it was "just a dog." Not to me. I got her after losing my baby and for some heaven sent reason, she chose me. But like all lessons, there was one and she came back. I just had to have faith.

Then July once again showed me what it was like to lose. You took the only man, who has been stable and loved me unconditionally away....My world shattered and even though the pain still lives in me, I know I gained an angel.

See you took A LOT of things away from me this year...It is what I call, "The year of Loss." But in the midst of all the loss...I emerged into a beautiful human being who walks proudly with her battle scars. I am THE ROSE THAT GREW FROM CONCRETE....

Thank you, for dragging me through hell. 

To you 2012, I am expecting heaven. I am expecting change now. I am expecting blessings. I am expecting you to treat me amazing. I am gonna live you 2012, with an open mind, heart, arms, and soul...2012, you and I will complete each others world and you will finally be the year to complete me...I truly believe this. And if not,  I hope you have some AMAZING lessons besides loss, to show me!





Ag said...

Aww 2012 will be a marvelous year for you believe it and it will be!! Happy New Year

Savannah said...

I hope 2012 is a year of gaining great things for you! Happy (almost) New Year!


Big Mark 243 said...

Have a happy new year and let it build momentum throughout 2012!

Winter said...

well said :) You have been through alot and although pain doesn't just leave, it fades slowly like a picture kept too long in an old wallet, you can live through the pain. In all of the things that I have been through in my life I have learned to pray this one prayer when my heart is broken, when my breath is taken away and my legs have failed to hold me up. From my knees, in faith, I ask the Lord only one thing "Don't waste this pain." May all you have gone through serve you well in the year to come. May it give you strength. May it fuel your passion to continue on a healthy path. I pray that for all you have been through, as you look forward with hope and faith you will see that God naver wastes our pain.