Saturday's with Stef: Good Men Exist....Right?

1:00 AM


When I was bigger, I used to think thinner people had dating easier.

Boy was I wrong.

Now that I am thinner. I feel like it gets WORSE!

In fact parts of me are so scared that if a good man does come along, that I will have no clue to what to do. We all know I have been treated like crap. I cant even think of a time when a guy actually paid for our date and did little things to let me know he cares. For instance, genuinely ask how my day is going or say, "Thought of you...." and send me a picture of something him and I discussed.

I was telling my best friend that I have never felt like a princess but I have treated them like princes. As now, I am older, I am looking for my KING. Someone who wont feel ashamed to do all that cheesy crap with me. Late night drives to a spot that over looks the L.A skyline, put the radio on, and just talk. Or someone who will say, "Come over!" and we have dinner and movie night.

Someone who can actually HOLD OUT sex with me because he respects me THAT much. Don't get me wrong, sex is apart of a relationship, but I want the first time with whoever it is to be special. To be MORE than just sex. To where he looks at me in the morning and says, "What are we gonna do today?"  and have him walk away saying, feeling, and thinking, "I can do that for the rest of my life!"

I have never been someones Queen. Never been the woman whom a guy can say, "Even though she has her moments, I have mine and we have ours, I love that woman with every ounce in my soul....I'm in love with that woman."

Maybe I am completely naive for this.

Maybe I am hoping for that fairytale.

I know others have dreams. Other women want money, success, and all that great stuff...and maybe I am a little off with MY dream. I want a family. I think this describes it best, I found it online and it was written by a guy: 


I WOULD DATE YOU SO HARD AND THEN MARRY THE SHIT OUTTA YOU.

    THEN RAISE THE HELL OUT OF OUR KIDS!             

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER NEED.             

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT MORTGAGE.             

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.            

 AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE HELL OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.             

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH EFFING SPEED.            

 BUY A MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE HELL OUT OF IT.           

 THEN WE CAN GO SOME PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE HELL OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OUT OF HER IN THE CAR.  

           AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.            


 AND THEN COOK THE HELL OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR DAYS.             

I WILL EAT THE HELL OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.           

  THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET PRUNEY.    

  WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS  GRADUATE AND TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE ARE.            

 WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE RAISINS.            

 I WILL TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.            

 HOLDING EACH OTHER’S HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES. 

            UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS CORPSES TOGETHER.             

TIL DEATH DO US PART.             

HAPPILY EVER AFTER.


Okay, Okay....SOMETHING like this...isn't it cute.

Maybe I'm just a dreamer.

Men like that don't exists, at least not in L.A

It would be nice to have ONE prove me wrong.

It just would be nice to have a man who knows how to be a man, and yet is sensitive and knows that I don't ask for much. Material things aren't my thing, but what I need is to know he loves me for me and unconditionally. -Sighs-

Men like that exist right?

Somewhere, some how my knight in shining armor (or at least my version) is out there wishing for me too?RIIIIIIIIIIGHHHT?

Anyways, That is all....-Sighs- It would be nice to go on my LAST first date....







7 comments:

Chica said...

They do exist!!! How do I know? Well, my brother is like this. He got married in 2009 and his wife just had their first baby last October. My brother-in-law is also like this. My sister lectures me only settle for a good guy like him, who tells her she's beautiful every day.
And then there is my boyfriend of 2 1/3 years. He loves me for me, and treats me really well.

I don't think you are being naive, and you definitely shouldn't settle for anything less than someone who makes you feel like a princess. Because that's what you deserve!

safire said...

Minus all the f-bombs, the promise is super cute! I can't get passed something written with that much profanity lol!

You deserve to find your king. I found mine. I totally understand what you mean though. I was a bit luckier meeting my boyfriend when I was chunkier and he stayed with me even when I ballooned up (60 lbs+) during our relationship.

After him sticking through all that, other guys who hit on me now (since I'm thinner) are all TOADS. It's flattering but I definitely feel like..."you wouldn't give me the time of day when I was x pounds".

You will find that special someone I am sure! There are good guys out there!

You look GORGEOUS in that picture.

CottonCandyINK said...

girl please, i married not only a good man but the best man. he did hold out for sex till we got MARRIED!!!! crazy right ;-)
when i met my husband i thought something was wrong with him because he treated me so good, because he had (has) so much respect for me and no one had ever treated me like that before. i was scared and i tried pushing him away severe times but i never succeeded at it he just grew patient and waited for me. when i finally realized that the thing i was scared of was true happiness it was my happily ever after i married him and i will never let him go. he is my best friend and one day you will find yours as well ;-)

frugalspender19 said...

I just love reading your blog Stef, and YES, of course men like that still exist...they just aren't very easy to find, and if L.A. is anything like I imagine it (full of superficial people trying to make it, skinny chicks and conceited men who think they are God's Gift to Earth), then of course it will be even harder to find that one special exception in the bunch. My advice to you is simply let things happen on their own. Stop looking so hard and "HE" will fall right into your lap. Look for a guy's personality, get to know them simply on a friend level... get to know their likes and dislikes, and you never know. That friendship could slowly blossom into something more. After all, many great relationships started off as great friendships. :)

Jean at www.drossintogold.com said...

Hello my dear!

I am a personal style blogger and a voice talent. I just happened to voice a book that is TOTALLY relevant to this post. You might want it!! The title is Let Love In. I can't remember the author but you should be able to google it. The audio version will be out soon through Amazon if you prefer. I just thought it was too serendipitous not to mention it to you.

Love, Jean

♥ CG ♥ said...

I believe they do, Stef :-)

Kitterz00 said...

I'm from LA and I used to think that same way! Stupid relationships, with stupid children like men, me paying the bills...

I got tired of all of it and decided to try and start somewhere new - then right before I was supposed to move I met my fiance (he's from Ventura though heh"

I learned that just like good women are used and tossed around... so are the good men. We all become jaded, scared and reluctant... sometimes you have to take that leap of faith though and hopefully you will and you will find it to be the most amazing experience ever =) Like I did when I have my fiance a chance.

A good man is hard to find and even harder to keep. Once you can keep them they give you the world =)