12:00 AM

28 has been a wonderful mess. Not sure how I am suppose to chalk up this age and sum it up. I'm mad at him. Ryan. So mad. I know talking about an ex is never good. But I gave up on him to save myself. I couldn't save him.

Maybe I feel like I am failure for that.

I feel like a failure in life right now.

28 and living at home with a shitty job.

28 and alone.

Yes...alone. I know I am not. The holidays are so depressing. I miss that companionship then I remember I do have someone to cuddle with and hes down the street-just a phone call away. It's all confusing.

I feel like a failure. I cant solve peoples problems. I cant save them. I cant fix things. I can barely fix myself. 

I just wish I could save everyone and make things better. But I have to sit back, watch it all fall apart and pray to God some good comes out of it. Asking God to take the pain seems like I am asking for too much but I know that's far from the case. He'll take it away because I am dancing with him. I am his child. He wont leave me bare.


Paige said...

Hi, I wanted to take a moment and tell you how beautiful your hair is in the photo you just posted. You look like one of the girls in the Pantene shampoo commercials. Lol. xoxo

Big Mark 243 said...

Stef, you have grown so much since I have been allowed in your extended journal family, that your maturation will pay dividends... keep the faith and keep to the path you are on..!