SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Love is in the Air...

 

I can sit here and spill my guts about how I met a boy at 15 and it changed my life forever ( HERE ). I can tell you about the abuse he put me through and so on. But I've written about the domestic, verbal, and mental abuse he put me through repeatedly, not to remind myself of the pain, but to remind myself that THAT ISN'T LOVE. 

I can spill my guts how my dads lack of involvement played a part in me choosing men. I can tell you how my grandpa treated me like a princess....But you guys have already read that.

I write what I feel. I write it raw, I do VLOGS as raw as possible. No editing, no beating around the bush. Why? Because I hope someone, some woman, out there in the world doesn't feel so alone and knows that if I can make it, so can they. 

I know what it's like to want to not wake up. I know what it's like to think about death every five seconds, thinking the world would be better off without you. I know what it's like to think, "I deserve this!" All the bad stuff, all the abuse, I thought I deserved it. I was convinced it was "Love."

Truth is, I didn't know what love really was until I started loving myself. 

That's right, MYSELF!

Self-love is the best love. 

It's taken me some years to get to know parts of me that I find absolutely beautiful. The flaws are even beautiful. I know I am not perfect. Every day I am still learning about myself. Every day I am still loving myself a tad bit more than I did the day before. 

It's a process too....loving yourself is a process. 

Doesn't happen over night. But if you put work into yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually like I have done (still doing) You get there. You learn to love yourself and I can't even tell you or even begin to tell you how amazing self-love feels...because it just feels amazing.

Abuse isn't love. 

I ask those of you suffering from Domestic Violence to please seek help and get out, love yourself and do better.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-SAFE (7233)
 

SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: My Domestic Violence Story & SURVIVAL

 

I can sit here and tell you my story AGAIN...you can read it HERE.

I am a SURVIVOR. I am a woman who said, "NO MORE." Even though my abuse goes back to when I was little, it doesnt make me damaged.

It makes me STRONGER!

They cant hurt me anymore. They cant do anything that hasn't been done to me already.

I protect MYSELF! I make sure NO ONE ever crosses my boundary again and I dont put up with just anyone's crap!

I am strong! I am a survivor and people should be scared of us survivors...why? BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE!!!

SIGNS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

• Have you ever been physically hurt, such as being kicked, pushed, choked or punched, by your partner or ex-partner? 
  
• Has your partner ever used the threat of hurting you or members of your family to get you to do something? 
  
• Has your partner ever injured or abused your pets? 
  
• Has your partner ever destroyed your property or things that you care about? 
  
• Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your family, going to school or doing other things that are important to you? 
  
• Do you feel like you are being controlled or isolated by your partner? For instance, does your partner control your money, transportation, activities or social contacts? 
  
  
• Have you ever been forced by your partner to have sex when you did not want to or to have unsafe sex? 
  
• Is your partner jealous and always questioning whether you are faithful? 
  
• Does your partner regularly blame you for things that you cannot control, or for his/her violent outbursts? 
  
• Does your partner regularly insult you? 
  
• Are you ever afraid of your partner or of going home? Does he/she make you feel unsafe?
  

There are other signs of domestic violence that observers might see in a relative or friend who is in an abusive relationship. They include:

• being prone to "accidents" or being repeatedly injured 
  
• having injuries that could not be caused unintentionally or that do not match the story of what happened to cause them 
  
• having injuries on many different parts of the body, such as the face, throat, neck, chest, abdomen or genitals 
  
• having bruises, burns or wounds that are shaped like teeth, hands, belts, cigarette tips or that look like the injured person has a glove or sock on (from having a hand or foot placed in boiling water)
  
• having wounds in various states of healing 
  
• often seeking medical help or, conversely, waiting to seek or not seeking medical help even for serious injuries 
  
• showing signs of depression 
  
• using alcohol or other drugs 
  
• attempting suicide 
  
  
  GET HELP! 
  
  
  National Domestic Violence Hotline
  800-799-SAFE (7233)
  

VLOG: Domestic Violence Awareness & My Experience

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS: Help Spread the Word & Purple Purse with Allstate !

Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign by the Allstate Foundation in collaboration with Latina Blogger Connect. All thoughts are my own.   

  When I was approached for this campaign, I just knew I had to be a part of it. I am a Domestic Violence Survivor. Some you know my story and some of you don't. My story is like many other women. I was in a really bad relationship and often felt there was no way out.    Domestic violence happens more than 145 times each hour in the U.S. On average, three women die every day as a result. Domestic violence affects one in four women in their lifetime – that’s more women than breast cancer, ovarian cancer and lung cancer combined. But it’s still hard to talk about and only about half of Americans say they would know how to help a victim of domestic violence.    Domestic violence is an issue that impacts millions, but few talk about it. Purple Purse helps people carry on conversations and pass information about domestic violence and financial abuse by placing the power directly into people’s hands with a purple purse. Domestic violence affects one in four women in their lifetime – that’s more women than breast cancer, ovarian cancer and lung cancer combined. A majority of Americans agree that domestic violence is tough to talk about. More than one-third of Americans have never discussed the issue with family or friends and Purple Purse provides a conversation starter. Lacking financial knowledge and resources is the number one indicator of whether a domestic violence victim will stay, leave or return to an abusive relationship. For every purple purse passed through the end of October, The Allstate Foundation will donate $5 to YWCA. We’ll give up to $350,000 for programs aimed to help domestic violence survivors and stop the cycle of abuse.    Taking action against domestic violence is simple - Purple Purse: Pass It On. 1,300 purple purses filled with domestic violence information and facts will be distributed throughout the U.S. Each purse has a goal of being passed between family, friends, community leaders, celebrities, media, and Allstate employees and agents sparking important conversations and raising awareness. Visit PurplePurse.com to follow the purple purses on their journey around the country, track the YWCA’s progress toward their goal to earn $350,000 from The Allstate Foundation and get tips to help you start talking about domestic violence.     Don’t worry! If you don’t get your hands on one of the purple purses that are being passed around the country, you can still help by logging onto Facebook.com/PurplePurse and sharing a virtual purple purse.  

     Please take part in this awesome Domestic Violence Visit Facebook or PurplePurse.com for more information. I also urge, as a survivor, if you or anyone you know is going through domestic violence, please seek help at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.