Saturday's with Stef: Hank Moody is an A-Hole....

 

I didn't get picked for a REALLY good job.

I thought I had it in the bag, in fact I thought things were finally looking up.

SILLY ME.

I removed my Hank Moody post.

He turned out to be a huge dipshit and Karma is gonna pay him a visit for making me cry, saying hurtful things and looking past me because I'm not his "Type." I'm better from the looks of his past and the women I see posted up on his Facebook.

SILLY HIM.

The sad part, I wasn't even sad...OFFENDED more like it. Unless you are a Johnny Depp or Zac Efron look-alike, your no God to women and certainly the opposite. Sorry, to say, but I have had better men who are more good looking and less asshole in my life. 

SILLY HIM.

Of course I am not his type...I'm not bones, I don't need a push-up bra, short skirt, and barely there top to get a man to notice me. I don't have smeared eyeliner that looks as if it was left over from yesterday and I certainly don't cake on my makeup and have alcohol flowing through my veins. 

SILLY HIM.

However, it also made me see and realize I am not gonna date until they take me on a REAL date.

Whatever that is.

I guess in my head where they pick me up, take me to dinner that DOESN'T involve a dollar menu, a walk, first date jitters and all that jazz.

Yeah that's it....

I FLY SOLO.

He didn't even apologize.

Sad I was expecting one too...

I'm not his type.

He was never mine.

-laughs-

I am STEFANIE.

AMAZING I TELL YA!

And if any man cant see that, then he can go eff off.

I'm beautiful.

Sexy.

Funny.

AMAZING I TELL YA!

I'm Stef.......

ONLY ONE ME.

I AM A RARE TYPE.

Weight Watcher's Weekly Weigh-In: 6 ounces Lost

 

Hey! At least I lost!

And I will be completely honest, I was expecting a two pound gain.

I emotionally ate this past week.

I really thought I had that covered....boy was I was wrong.

All I wanted to do was eat and take away my sadness.

Jack In the Box was my arch enemy. Their mini-churros was NO PROBLEM, but they now have Chicken Nuggets! I am a sucker for nuggets!

I really felt horrible about myself lately. 

My clothes are fitting baggy and I am serious so low on cash to afford new jeans.

Also, by not tracking, I felt horrible.

Do you emotionally eat?

Anyways six ounces lost is better than a gain! Ill take the ounces loss over a gain ANY DAY!

YAY ME!!

Here's to a new week!

New Points,

and a new outlook!

VLOG: The Revolving Door

VLOG: Love yourself & the World Will Love You Back!

Saturday's With Stef: Run! A Red flag!!!

 

Yesterday I woke up feeling different.

I woke up remembering my WORTH.

I play for keeps. I play for sincerity. Honesty. Consistency. Trustworthy and REAL!

Someone who knows what they have when they have me!

Dating sucks. 

I will be the first to admit this. But with all the changes in my life right now, I am ready for KEEPS. If that makes ANY sense.

A friend Nancy said something to me the other day after a fiasco, "BE OPEN."

I went to bed thinking, "So simple yet so complicated" 

But yesterday I woke up feeling like I need to remember my worth. To remember that I am amazing. I would be my own best friend. Yes, I said it. If I met me I would be my own friend.

I think somehow, someway, the love I have for myself got lost. That should have been a red flag that I wasn't fit for the situation. I had been CONSTANTLY questioning myself. Constantly over-thinking. Constantly feeling like I am insecure.

So not who I am! That seriously should have been the FIRST sign I wasn't in the right place. I need to be AWARE of those signs. Because it could have saved me tears!

So with that said, I hope many of you listen to those signs and see the red flags. They are RED for a reason. 

VLOG: My own Best Friend....

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week!

 

Hi my loves! Did you know from February 26th -March 3rd is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week?

It is! And in an effort to spread the awareness, I wanted to take part in helping stop eating disorders and promoting positive self-image and body image!

I have never suffered from an eating disorder but I have had thee worst self-body image. Sometimes I think I am too fat and prior to losing weight I was miserable and constantly picked on myself about my weight. I also was judged by others. My weight to others automatically filed me under the "Lazy" category to some. People often looked at me in disgust and men often looked past me because of my weight.

I wanted to share a story I got from NEDA's website with you guys - I loved this story and I hope you do too.

For more information please log on to NEDA (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org)

Can You Tell Anything at All by a Person’s Weight?

By Deb Burgard, PhD

If you have grown up in this culture, you probably associate quite a few things with fatness and quite a few of the opposite traits with thinness. Almost every audience comes up with the same lists:

Fat:

• Lazy
• Depressed
• Sick
• Out of control
• Loser
• Bad

Thin:

• Productive
• Confident
• Healthy
• Disciplined
• Sexy
• Good

Even though these associations are not something people from other cultures (or other times in history) believe, they are so strong and unquestioned in our own time that they form the basis of our weight stereotyping, bias, and stigma.


To test your own associations, go take the Weight version of the Implicit Attitudes Test. The test does not measure whether you inflict weight bias on people, but rather how strongly you have been taught to associate certain concepts with weight.


It might be surprising to know that weight stigma hurts both thin and fat people. In my work with people of all sizes who are struggling with disordered eating, it is clear that a huge factor in their misery is almost always the worry that they will be humiliated and rejected because of their weight – no matter what their weight is. I have had people sitting in my office who look like they walked straight out of a fashion magazine who are convinced they are not thin enough, not perfect enough, and not good enough (and some of them are absolutely accurate about the impossible standards of their world of ballet or modeling or a really bad relationship). Others have endured a lifetime of negative stereotyping and discrimination as fat children or adults, and can’t imagine loving the bodies they blame for the meanness of other people. Still others have witnessed the humiliation of a friend, a parent, a sibling– and are petrified about such a thing happening to them.

So some of them have had actual experiences of weight stigma, some of them give themselves the experience of stigma within their own minds, and some are convinced that it is only a matter of time before the axe falls unless they perfect their bodies to some mythical state. No one feels safe, because everyone has times when we feel something from the “fat” column.


When I work with clients, we have to figure out a way to handle both the real and the self-inflicted experiences of weight stigma , so that s/he can get unstuck and recover. Part of this work is to change one’s own mind about what fat and thin means. Part of it is to change other people’s minds.
And so today in the spirit of changing other peoples’ minds, I ask that we stop for a moment and question this weight stigma stuff, and why we keep it around.


It seems obvious that the diet (i.e., the weight cycling) industry wants to keep it around because how else would you sell a program that never works, over and over again, and not worry about the consumer getting hip to the fact that it is useless? But even though it is a big honking industry (most recently estimated at over $60 billion), most of us are not making money from it and would be fine if it suddenly went out of business. In fact, most of us would be much better off economically with our $500- 1000/year safe in our own pockets rather than the weight cycling industry.


So what about the rest of us who aren’t profiting off this industry? Why would we perpetuate weight stigma? When you look at the lists of traits associated with “fat” and “thin,” what strikes me is that they are such normal human states and traits. Is there a week that goes by when you don’t feel like some of Column A and some of Column B? But the “fat” traits are painful to experience – they are the things we feel when we miss the deadline, can’t get motivated, find ourselves rejected, or are diagnosed with a health problem. We would prefer not to feel them at all, and when we are promised that just by losing weight, we will become a Whole New Person (free of all the “fat” traits!), we think that would be a pretty great deal. That promise sucks us in. We cave to the illusion that life does not have to sometimes feel bad, and we perpetuate the myth that by changing our bodies, we can avoid ever feeling bad. In fact, if you feel bad, it must be your own fault.



There are people who understand that weight stigma is causing suffering but feel like it is somehow going to make people care about their health. Like a person will start exercising to lose weight, but not to become more healthy, so we have to keep trying to stigmatize higher weight and promote weight loss.

It is true that people are social animals, and are very punished by being stigmatized. But punishment is famously unpredictable as a motivator. The things people do to leave the stigmatized group are often not at all conducive to their health. Injecting poison into your skin, slicing up healthy body organs, starving yourself, taking drugs, and even repetitive weight loss attempts, are things that make people sicker. Even though I don’t think people would go through half of what they do in the name of weight loss just to have lower blood pressure or better triglycerides or a lower risk of a stroke, I would argue that the net effect of the attempt to leave the stigmatized group is actually less health. Weight loss is not like trying to quit smoking. Weight cycling makes you sicker and fatter. And if your weight loss takes the form of an eating disorder you have a one of the deadliest psychiatric illnesses to battle.


And what about the health burden of weight stigma itself? Historical studies of cultures where higher weight is not stigmatized show that people at higher weights were just as, or even more, healthy than the thinner members of the community. And perhaps the most robust finding in all of epidemiology is that social support is the holy grail of health. How can removing social support – and making people sicker – be a path to making people healthier? How can the US government telling people that we are trying to eliminate them in a generation make them healthier?


The truth is, there is no reason to demonize people of certain weights. The far more effective message is that people can find things to do that support their health at whatever size they are. After all, the same practices and environments support health for thin or fat people. If the same cafeteria feeds the thin kids and the fat kids, why can’t we talk about what is on the menu that supports the health of all the kids? Why do we have to argue that the food has to change so we can have no fat kids? Why can’t we argue that the food should be healthy for the kids–period? We can work to create environments that support people in their efforts to thrive and make lasting efforts to take care of their bodies. Part of creating that environment is ridding it of the pollution of weight stigma.


I grew up during times of great social upheaval, and I have seen a lot of change when it comes to social stigma. Though the world is far from perfect, it is a very different place now than it used to be if you live together without being married, or get divorced, or have a baby as a single parent, or work as a female airline pilot, or get around in a wheelchair, or raise kids as gay parents, or love someone of a different race or religion. Stigma is a kind of fashion. We can change what is fashionable. We can make weight stigma incredibly uncool. Because it is.


So what are you going to do today to end weight stigma, in your mind, and in the world?
Deb Burgard, PhD is a psychologist specializing in eating, weight, and body image concerns. She practices in the San Francisco Bay area, blogs for ASDAH, and is the creator of Body Positive.com.


Everybody Knows Somebody. Get involved in NEDAwareness Week 2012, February 26-March 3! Visit the NEDAwareness Week homepage to register today and learn more about how you can do just one thing to help raise awareness about eating disorders and become part of the solution. NEDA’s Helpline number is: 800 931-2237

Posted with permission from NEDA

VLOG: The POWER of the Mind (Positive Thoughts= Positive Outcomes)

VLOG: Self-Happiness ...I love you, but I love me too!

VLOG: Someone called me fat....

Weekly Weigh-In: 0.2 Ounces LOST!

 

I lost 2 ounces ---OUNCES IS BETTER THAN NOTHING!

I was PMSing last week and did go over my points, even my allowance points. -shrugs-

Mother nature wants wheat mother nature wants.

As long as I am losing I am cool. Whether it be ounces or pounds, losing is ALWAYS good.

BUT, yes there is a BUT if I gain, I know I can always start fresh.

I wish I had known back in the day what I know now...

In high school, I was a size 12 and to society and peers, that was FAT.

There was a girl who thought she was thinner than me but really wasn't, who once posted a picture of my Sadie's Hawkins date (who just so happened to be her crush and obsession) and mines picture all over the school with the word "Fat" written all over me. I also had a certain family member who I went to high school with call me "Fat"  behind my back.

I WAS BULLIED.

Even though the girl is HUGE now and lives  a pretty sad life and that family member ended up living a hard and bad life, I cant help but to feel sorry for them or anyone who finds the need to pick on someones weight. For they are sad people and picking on others makes them feel better.

I was NO beauty Queen in High School....but hell, I think I was beautiful! 

Only if I had excepted my curves sooner in my life would I have spared me all the Self-hate I had for myself. 

So, if you are a younger woman or a woman who is simply getting picked on because of their weight, I say this to you....:::

Weight doesn't define who you are! The scale does not determine if you are beautiful. YOU HAVE CURVES. You have meat on you....OWN IT!! People all over the world pay to look more voluptuous! Pay to have curves! Pay to have some meat on them! 

OWN THAT MEAT ON YA!

 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! SO WALK AROUND LIKE YOU GOT A CROWN ON YOUR HEAD ALL DAY, EVERY DAY! LOVE YOU AND THE WORLD WILL LOVE YOU BACK 10 FOLD!