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I know I am beautiful....but believe when I say, I never felt this way.
Sometimes I look at my reflection and think, "Is that me? Shes hot!?"
(conceited right? LMAO)
I speak openly about what I call, "The Fat Girl Complex." A complex in which in my head I still see myself as a bigger woman. The smaller me has been very uneasy and open to accepting compliments. Sometimes I think, "They are talking to me right?!"
And let me tell you, that happens often with the opposite sex. I hear a man call me "gorgeous", "Beautiful", etc and I think, "ME?" I think I told you the story of my bar hopping last month. My best guy and girl friend went bar hopping in Downtown L.A and there was a gorgeous man. Now I have never been the girl who gets the hottest guy in the room...but I DID! He and I went back and forth for a while but it really did stroke my ego.
The woman in the mirror sees beautiful.
But also, the curves.
I see the stretchmarks that I wear proudly.
I see the cellulite on my thighs.
I see a beautiful woman.
But as soon as I look at my Facebook pictures I think, "Is that really my mold?" Okay, okay,okay, I sound totally nuts right? But I know at one point y'all have looked in the mirror and wondered if how you see yourself in the mirror is how others see you.
So you are wondering where is this coming from? Well I get told often from friends, "You can have your pick from any man!" Ive been hit on by ALL-kinds of men (even some women). Famous to average Joe's. I think me being single, and hearing this, makes me "Smh" because if I could have any guy I wanted, I wouldn't be single. My insides are pretty awesome if you ask me! I am someone who I would LOVE to be friends with. In fact, I am my own best friend. But I always wonder if the mold I see, is what others see.
Does this blog even make sense?!
Probably not.
Just roll with it....
