VLOG: Forgive Myself

SATURDAYS WITH STEF: The Insecure Woman in Me

 

Sometimes my insecurities are draining to those around me...

Sometimes I walk into the world as if I am a Victoria Secret model.

I have NEVER claimed to FULLY love myself. I am human and have my highs and lows...like ALL humans do.

I often compare myself to other girls. I often have this mental image of the old "Stefanie" in my head and I let the MENTAL part of weight loss gets to me. I understand to those around me, it can be draining. 

I know this is something I need to work on and change...and I am in the process of doing so. Its a challenge most days and most days it comes as easy as a summers evening breeze. 

I EXPECT my friends to speak up and say, "Stef! Stop that shit!" Pardon my French...my best friend Alicia does when I go to THAT place and it puts me IN my place! Those who aren't my friend, I can understand where its draining. I apologize for that. 

But I will NEVER apologize for my journey to get there. 

It cant come from some self-help book. It cant come from others. It comes FROM WITHIN ME! Anything you want to get over, anything it starts with YOU! 

I'm not perfect.

I have my days. Some days its BAD and some days its not.

I'm human.

I am real.

I am me....

CHEERS TO INSECURITIES!

CHEERS TO FIXING THEM ON YOUR OWN!

 

VLOG: Im AMAZEBALLS!

Saturday's with Stef: A Work in Progress

 

Once again, I am going out on a limb here and posting a picture I have had to wait on and think about for a few days now. Something I am INCREDIBLY insecure about, my stomach.

But I thought, SO WHAT! Lets just get this over with.

Someone is gonna love the sh*t out of this body some day. Who wont be afraid to run his hands across and hold me. And I promise it too will happen to you, those who write me about a man never gonna love them because of thier body and what it looks like UNDER clothes.

It has taken me YEARS to do this, show you this kind of picture. Why? Because in the past I wasnt always this proud of myself. I wasnt always sure of myself. Lets face it, I went out with men who never acknowledged my effort and weightloss. Who tore me to shreds mentally and emotionally. Who chose thinner women over me. 

This is me. 

It's my shell FOR NOW. So I might as well love it. I have to live with it every single damn day of my life. Its my "work in progress." It's something I can look at in the mirror and say, "GO ME!!"

Loving yourself is thee hardest thing in the world. 

It takes a lot of strength and courage to love yourself. Most people dont. 

Love yourself.

It is one of the most greatest feelings in the world.

A love like no other.

A love so sacred that no one can even touch.

I am a work in progress....

In fact, I think I will always be.

So what I am saying to you and hoping you are reading this and memorizing is:

LOVE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD WILL LOVE YOU BACK!